My Bible

Dear Shawn,
So, are you supposed to be that nigga that is suppose to sweep me off my feet, the one that praises on my hand and foot. The top notch nigga that is going to provide and take care of your responsibilities because you’re a MAN. Yea yea yea I heard it all before, sorry if I am doubting you but my heart can’t bare the pain of another disappointment, another broken promise, or another so called man just walking out because the kitchen is too hot. Did you think life was all peaches and cream? I mean I wish I could just walk out….walk away from life but you know what…. It’s not that easy. As a woman we have to stagger along, pull up our sleeves and just move the fuck on. Not only that but we have to work twice as hard because we have to pick up your slack. To be honest I question the role of a MAN because I have yet found one that could be as real as me. You tell me I am beautiful and how you are better than my last but your didn’t own up to that, if anything your results came out to be worst, but I will admit some good did come from you. This is not a bashment but an enlightment.

Could it be the fact that your scared of a stable relationship, are is it you can’t allow yourself to just “love” one person are in man terms “fuck” one person. Oh, I get it you can do all to me but if the tables were turned I would be the fucked up one, how hypocritical, but yet we allow it. I mean I was mad for a few days and if you’re lucky a few hours and then you were back by my side, but still doing who knows what with her, them and they but just this time you were a little bit slicker, and a little bit smoother but could care less if you were caught again because at the end of the night you always have a place to rest your head. Whether it be my house, her house or mommies house, I tell you one thing it’s always someone’s else’s house and never yours. And let it be your house I bet 98% of the shit in it I bought or cleaned it, being I maintained it so again in “women ownership terms” it’s mine.


Why do you continue to use phrases like “I love you” or “together forever”, is that suppose to mend my heart. Think again. As far as I am concern the more you say them the less meaning it displays. It seems you tend to forget all the sacrifices I “executed” for you, but that’s when I conclude I was a fool because I was so caught up in this virus called “LOVE” that I did things for you that I wouldn’t do for myself, but it would be a waste of breath to speak about things that have already been done. The jokes on me once again because like I was alone back then I am left alone again. I guess your happy you moved on, and I am the one sitting here writing sob letters on your ass. But that’s where you’re wrong this is actually my bible, my tribulations, achievements, and goals all in one. I shed enough tears that created me a river, a river where I will never sank baby, because that’s what’s expected.

(And this part goes to the Shawn’s that have Little Shawn jrs or Shauntyes walking around, whether it’s by your girl or your ex girl) I refused to be called your fuckin BM no nigga, I am the MOTHER of your child and that’s how the fuck you should refer to me if I am not being referred to on a first name basis. Motherhood is not a term that should be taking lightly and being that half of me and half you made an “US” I find it very unappreciable that a serious bond has been classified in terms such as “baby momma and baby daddy” Can I ask you a question Shawn the ones with little girls, being that women continue being hurt by the shit that men do and since you probably hurt their mother how would you feel if someone did all the shit you did to me to them huh. Was that a wakeup call or was that a wakeup call.


On another note, if your still in so called love with the mother of your child why are you fucking me. Please let me know what’s going on because never have I filled out an application where is says relationship status “friends with benefits” so if you’re not in a relationship with her and not with me than you’re not going to have your cake and eat it too...................................